Deciding to share your new pronouns is an important part of affirming your gender identity. Whether it took you days or years to reach this decision, it’s a powerful move toward living authentically. Now comes the next step: telling others.
Pronouns Aren’t Preferences
Pronouns are essential, not just preferences. Asking someone to use your pronouns is asking them to respect who you are. While terms like 'preferred pronouns' have been used, it's important to assert that your pronouns reflect your true identity.
Who Should You Share Your Pronouns With?
When deciding who to share your pronouns with, consider who makes you feel safe and supported. Check if they’ve shown empathy before or if they have their pronouns in their bios. Have they spoken positively about trans rights? If so, it might be a good idea to share your pronouns with them.
What If One-on-One Conversations Aren’t Your Thing?
For some, having a direct conversation about pronouns can be overwhelming. Another way to share your pronouns is by updating your social media bios, adding them to your email signatures, or making a post about them. This can be a more comfortable and less daunting approach.
What Should You Say?
Having a script ready can help. For example, 'I wanted to let you know that I’m now using [Your Pronouns]. I know it’s a transition for everyone, but I’d appreciate it if you could respect this.' Adjust your language depending on your relationship with the person.
Handling Negative Reactions
Unfortunately, not everyone will respond positively. If someone refuses to use your pronouns, prioritize your safety and comfort. Sometimes it’s best to avoid confrontation or reach out to supportive friends who can provide encouragement.
Your Pronouns Are Valid
Remember, your pronouns matter. You can change them as often as needed, and people should respect that. Sharing your pronouns is about expressing who you are, and your community will eventually adjust.
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Dima is the first and only healthcare platform serving the LGBTQIA+ community in the Philippines. Our services include teleconsultations, gender-affirming hormone therapy like estrogen and testosterone (GAHT), mental health care, sexual and reproductive health services.
We provide access to LGBTQIA+ doctors and resources tailored to meet the health needs of the community. Whether you identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, gender non-conforming, or nonbinary, Dima is here to provide you with the care you deserve.